For someone who may have only learned how to keep a friendly distance and to stay out of trouble… for someone who can talk to anybody, and who is genuine and at ease among all walks of life; for one who loves deeply, with no prejudice, but is always on the outside looking in –
Is there a secret to being lovable?
"For someone who may have only learned how to keep a friendly distance and to stay out of trouble".
If you like a lot of people see relationships as trouble that is what is experienced. Change your View about relationships and as far as lasting, to be honest… everything changes.
I believe the key element is to be completely open and devoid of any pride whatsoever. It’s worked for me but it is completely natural.
Perhaps just being yourself, whatever the hell that might be. Honesty goes a long way.
How do I personally connect with people?
Well, I just sort of throw myself out there, flaws and all; I admit upfront that I am pretty much a jackass, since they’ll find out anyway, and hope that maybe they’ll be willing to take a chance on being my friend in spite of this.
I think people are a little reticent, and afraid to come forward.
My tip is to give what it is that you want to receive (but not in a creepy way).
People can’t read your mind, you have to ask for what you want in this world. :o)
No.
You have to be yourself and you have to genuinely and unconditionally like other people. It’s okay to be a little private in the way you do this.
I think caring is important. Many of us care but don’t show it very well.
Like yourself. That is a critical part of it all. If you like yourself it will be apparent to people who want to like you and it makes it easier for them.
Lasting relationships are usually not something we have that much control over. They sort of happen. At least, that’s how it’s been for me.
id love to answer this but i wish i could say i knew.. sorry
There`s no secret that I know. It`s mainly just being at ease with yourself as well as with others. How can anyone like you if you don`t like yourself?
Yes, you have to accept the love when offered to you. Sometimes love isn’t easy to recognize, keep a watchful eye, I’m sure it’s all around you.
**hugs**
Gosh Kitkat, I think you’re pretty wonderful, you’re just going through a rough patch.
The whole "looking for love" thing is bad bidness. You never find it, what you really find is more loneliness, because LOVE is such a big thing.
It would be like going out every day looking for a sack full of unmarked $20s. Look everyday, you won’t find one and you’ll get depressed. Versus digging in an old jacket and finding a TEN spot! wOW. wHAT a great feeling, …
So instead of looking for LOVE. Look for a cup of coffee and conversation. There are a ton of guys who’d meet you for coffee … and I bet none of them work at Krogers either.
I think the answer is cash …. and a lawyer who can draft out a good pre-nup, pre-friend agreement.
Don’t leave anything to chance … spell it out.
As long as you have lots of cash ….. you’ll have friends … all sorts of friends.
For a $ 15,000/week retainer I’ll let you ride Eleanor, my Elephant 4 times a week.
I have some childhood friends that I still stay in contact with and love like brothers & sisters. I think some people put a wall up around them b/c they’re afraid to let their guard down. They’re afraid of getting hurt. I think you have take that chance. I feel everyone has a "soul mate" out there. You have to be able to give love in order to appreciate it when you receive it. It’s sad that people never experience true love even though they’ve been in relationships. I married my best friend. We met at work and we were friends for 5 yrs. before we ever began to date one another and not too long ago we just celebrated out 7th Wedding Anny. Don’t give up hope, I had to go to Tennessee from Detroit to find my soul mate so, there you have it. Could be you’re trying too hard or looking for love in all the wrong places. Just like that mickey gilly song! from Urban Cowboy. lol That was part of my problem. I’d fall fast and hard into love with a guy and most of the time the feeling wasn’t mutual. I’m passionate about love… I’m a big softy! but, I dish out the tough love as well when it’s needed. Take care sorry for the long answer I’m not good at short answers.
This is a really good question. I wonder the same myself. The past few years I have been going through it and I went through it alone. I thought I was loved by my "close" friends but when it came to Dr. appointments and treatments (many) I did this all alone. Where were these friend who always told me they loved me? I honestly don’t think they exists out there and for me that’s sad.
28 November 2008
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Part of it is deciding who you want to be and then working your way there, one step at a time.
Part of it is recognizing that everyone has something that makes them special, and then taking the time to notice and appreciate it.
And part of it is simply loving. Life, music, our mad crazy world.
29 November 2008 at 4:40 am